| God Is So Good, Even In Tragedy |
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My world changed the day my son was born, January 14, 2006. I had trusted God to do as he wills with my son since the very beginning of my pregnancy. I had threatened to miscarry, had gestational diabetes and prayed that God would allow whatever He willed for me and my baby. Luckily, I carried him to term and went into labor. However, I began bleeding profusely during labor and was forced to have an emergency c-section due to placental abruption.
My son, Ethan Amari, was born at 6:34am and wasn't breathing. The
doctors bagged him and said they would be transporting him to the NICU
to be on the ventilator and because he was deprived of oxygen, he
probably had brain damage, but a new procedure called a "cooling cap"
could help reduce the brain damage. He was transferred to U of M.
My doctor was a Crossroader, lab techs belonged to Crossroads. A
Crossroader set up a website which allowed people to send messages to
us about prayer and well wishes (There were over 16 pages of messages).
Another Crossraoder emailed the congregation about our condition and
asked for prayer. Another Crossroader loaned their vehicle to my
husband to drive from hospital to hospital. Several Crossroaders ran
errands for us, paid for our gas, lunch, etc. Others, just placed
hundreds of dollars in our suitcases.
There was a prayer vigil held between services at church for us. And
several Crossroaders visited with me while I lay without my baby on the
maternity ward. Others stayed with my husband and helped him get into
the Ronald McDonald House, others updated the website, others took
pictures of Ethan and brought me the photos so I could see him at 2 am.
Another brought us Bibles and devotionals. There are probably more that
I am not remembering right now.
I was finally able to leave the local hospital and go to see my
son for the first time 4 days after he was born. After seeing him
hooked up to monitors, we were told that he was probably wouldn't make
it much longer. The next day we were told he was brain dead and needed
to decide to remove him from life support.
Someone called and gathered a group of Crossroaders to be with us as we
let our child die. Pastors Scott and Kyle as well as 20+ Crossroaders
came to U of M to pray for us and support us during our most difficult
hour. As we were about to remove him from life support, the Lord saw
how hard it was for us to do it and allowed him to die on his own
without our intervention.
I held my 5 day old son as he left my arms into the arms of Jesus. And a peace fell over us almost immediately.
We left the room and went into a waiting room where the people of Crossroads were still waiting and praying for us.
Throughout the next month, Crossroads took care of us, finacially,
emotionally, spritually. Over 200 people attended Ethan's funeral, many
of which were fellow Crossroaders.
I became a part of a support group called Tiny Purpose which was
started by a Crossroader who also had lost an infant. Renee Bangerter
helped me each step of the way and was the first woman to visit me in
the hospital when he was born and the last to leave when he died.
I am forever grateful for my Crossroads family. Their support continues
and their love is genuine. I remember asking God to do as he wills for
us and although what he willed wasn't what I would have willed, He
"works all things together for good".
I believe that Ethan was born and died to allow me to share this story.
To allow me to glorify God. Because God alone is worthy. And the people
of Crossroads displayed God's love and mercy and grace and pulled
together to love on a family in crisis. Thanks you so much to my
Crossroads family. I love you all.
My world changed the day my son was born, and it allowed me to realize
that no matter what I go through, there is a family, God's family, to
be there with me.
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